#basically a sitcom plot

[netmomplus]

Hecatia constantly trying to convince Junko that Chang’e can’t even be killed because she drank the Hourai Elixir so that they can finally go on that dinner date she’s been planning for twenty years instead of spending the day at home plotting another failed homicide.

Is this even true? I don’t know, but sometimes you just want a normal date.

[finalgirlminamurray]

the way i see it: in the universe between worlds where all the slashers hang out regardless of original film timelines or copyright issues, freddy and jason probably aren't friends because their only canon cinematic appearance together has them fighting most of the time but after getting over that they'd probably develop a kind of tacit understanding as two of the most instantly recognized horror film icons out there. still don't hang out much but they can commiserate over not having any film appearances in the last 15 years, leaving them stuck in this limbo which is probably where they go to hang out with all the other slashers who aren't currently starring in movies. jason and michael are definitely friends, i think they'd respect each other. they're kind of both part of the old guard of original slashers who established what the genre was, and even though they have notably different backgrounds and motivations, they have enough in common that they'd get along well in here. jason and leatherface would definitely 100% be friends (maybe more...imagine) because even if the one tie-in comic featuring them together was to be frank not very good, at least it got that right. they would probably hang out the most in slasher limbo dimension but if jason met the family (and i mean the actual characters from the first movie, not...whatever was going on in those comics) i can't see that going well, even if they are more accepting of outsiders who also happen to be killers. besides i feel like this dimension is for slashers who are the face of their franchise only, and any supporting characters even other villains are residing back in their home dimension most of the time. they probably have ways to visit each other, though. michael and leatherface have a similar quiet respect for each other as the og 70s slashers themselves, but they're more casual acquaintances than anything.

freddy mostly hangs out with the other loudmouth wisecracking fully voiced slashers, like chucky (they regularly switch between being bros and being at each other's throats) and ghostface, who i can only imagine as the original billy and stu duo even though everyone who wears the mask probably ends up there at some point once they die in their movies. billy and stu were kind of in awe of everybody else when they first arrived and were largely seen as the annoying tagalong new kids for a while but now that scream has been around long enough to be considered one of the classic slashers despite the gap in release dates between it and most of the others, they've been accepted into the fold. the various ghostfaces are now in that idolized position for a lot of the new slashers who show up, which is a bit of a trip to realize.

no one knows what the rules are exactly for what qualifies you as a slasher and grants you access to this place. sometimes various other horror villains show up and say hi and nobody can dispute if they should be there or not. sometimes hannibal lecter is there. sometimes pinhead and the other cenobites are there and it seems like they'd rather not be but they're not going to say anything about it. maybe they're in hell (as in, the hell dimension that the cenobites come from in hellraiser, which may or may not be actual hell by the theological definition) or maybe it's some kind of dream realm thing, which has brought slashers together before.

the one who's been here the longest is norman bates and all i can say about that is that even though his movie has had three sequels in color, i can only imagine him appearing in grayscale whenever he interacts with the other slashers like he stepped out of a black-and-white movie while everyone else is in full color

[druidgroves]

I havent been in tv show fandoms in a hot minute until the last few months (first ghosts, now yellowjackets and severance) but I am quickly being reminded that people don't know how to watch tv or think critically about the plot.

[heart-of-the-card]

Ya da ya da ya da Sydney to the Max + college Smosh au ya da ya da ya da ya da I’m working on a comic ya da ya da ya da ya da

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 16: My Favourite Parallel . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

This evidence has always been one of my favourites.

"You never say it." "I say it." vs. "I didn't say it." "You didn't have to."

When I first saw these two clips back to back, when I was a little byler in the big city of youtube analysis videos, I think I lost my mind. Having these two lines of dialogue being so perfectly contrasting proves that Milkvan simply can't be endgame to me, especially when Stranger Things' couples usually never say I love you to each other.

I feel like a lot of the canon couples in ST all have one thing in common: they've all never really said I love you to each other??? Plus, they've never actually used saying those words as a big conflict storyline before. Having this storyline in a sitcom or something where this couple ends up being endgame anyway makes sense, but in this setting where everything is so thought out, it makes no sense for this parallel to be made and have Milkvan be endgame guys.

This conflict between Mike and El wasn't just something for the two of them to do (or rather, Mike) in S4. This was to make them, in the audience's minds, a couple not worth rooting for anymore. Especially when there's a better, second option.

"You never say it." "I say it." vs. "I didn't say it." "You didn't have to."

IS BASICALLY:

"I need you to tell me you love me because I can't tell whether or not you love me." vs. "I don't need you to tell me you love me because I know you do in the way you treat me."

The second one is true for most of the couples on Stranger Things. You don't need Lumax to say it, let alone even kiss, to know that they have a deep love for each other in S4. You don't need Jancy to have this big dramatic I love you moment, you don't need Jopper to either. But you know who did have the same storyline as Mike and El? Stancy. And because it was a smaller sub-plot, it was wrapped up quickly in one season where it was established that Nancy did not love Steve because she never showed it, EVEN THOUGH SHE DID SAY IT.

TLDR; Actions say much more than words, and if you really think about it, Mike and El in S4 did not show their love for each other rather than Mike talking about it all the time.

Their love is also paralleled (or perpendiculared tbh) with the Jancy scene in S4 where they both describe the things they love about the other ^^^, talking about genuine characteristics. Mike's reasoning for 'loving' El is that she is.......... a superhero and incredible and can 'move mountains' (even though she can't). One of the reasons for El not thinking Mike loves her is literally the fact that he always calls her a 'superhero' so that when she has no powers, she feels like he can't love her. And I can't blame her tbh 😭

Also this basically foreshadows the fact that Will confesses his love to Mike through El, and in doing so, expresses his love for him without having to say the actual words. Mike knew that those words meant an I love you because he literally used them in his monologue.

(I dont wanna be annoying asl but I think people would pick up on this stuff more if Will was a girl-- *gunshots*)

[narumi-gens]

Platonic

Miya Osamu x f!Reader

summary: Osamu knows that there’s nothing going on between you and his brother. And yet, he still can’t help but be jealous.

warnings: minors/ageless/blank blogs dni, don't let the summary fool you – this is basically just 4k words of fluff, jealous!osamu, slightly insecure!osamu, married!osamu, dad!osamu, very normal relationship problems, the importance of communication, kita is always the voice of wisdom, osamu is really just a simp for you, reader and osamu are #CoupleGoals

notes: whenever I’m trying to get back into writing, stealing plots from sitcoms is always a guarantee so everything from the title to the banner to the plot is at least 80% lifted from platonic (which is such a wonderful show).

words: 4k

part of the Meet the Miyas series

Osamu is jealous. And he hates it. He hates the word. He hates the feeling. He hates what it says about him. He really hates how irrational it is.

But what he hates most is that the person that he's jealous of is his own brother (that scrub).

But maybe he's the scrub. Because it's dumb. You've been together for years. You trust him. You love him. You're committed to him. You're married to him. You’re the mother of his child. You're happy with the life that you've built together. 

And he knows that Atsumu is your best friend. You were Atsumu's friend before he even met you. Atsumu is the one who introduced the two of you, who set you up — which he'll never stop taking credit for if his speech at your wedding was anything to go by. So of course you spend a significant amount of time with his twin. 

It’s never really bothered him before. If anything, he’s typically relieved that you’re so close with Atsumu. The more you occupy the setter’s time, the less time he has to annoy Osamu. 

And you’re allowed to have friends and a life outside of being a wife and mother. He wants you to have fun and to be your own person outside of your relationship with him. He doesn’t expect you to go from home to work and back to repeat the cycle all over again the next day. Not that you would ever allow it. 

It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of hard work, but over the years, the two of you have built a happy balance between him running the restaurant, you pursuing your own thriving career, being doting parents to a three-year-old son, and still managing to keep your marriage healthy. So this gross feeling of jealousy has no place in his life, especially where Atsumu is concerned. 

But it creeps up on him slowly, needling its way into him before he even has a chance to stop it. He first feels it over something so small that it embarrasses him. 

He asks you if you want to go see a new movie that’s been advertised for months. His mom and yours are always eager to babysit — sometimes eager to the point of forcing you both out of the house for what’s declared “much-needed grandparent time.” 

“Oh, I promised Atsumu that I’d see it with him,” you reply with a slight tilt of your head before picking up your phone. “Let me check with him about us all going together.”

It’s a simple and obvious solution. You’ve already sent your message to Atsumu and are looking up showtimes for that weekend. But there’s a small voice in the back of Osamu’s head insisting that you should be asking him if Atsumu can come with the two of you, not the other way around. The unfamiliar thought makes him feel uncomfortable and he quickly shoves it away.

But just that small, intrusive voice is like a spark and it isn’t long before he finds himself hearing it again, fanning the pathetic, weak flame into something stronger.

One morning, he’s pulled from sleep by the blankets lifting and the mattress dipping. When he cracks open a bleary eye, he sees you doing your best to slip into bed without disturbing him. He can’t check the time on his phone without giving away that you’ve already woken him up. But from the pale grey light of early morning that’s already beginning to brighten the bedroom and the fact that Reiji isn’t already awake, Osamu guesses that it’s between five and six. 

He knows that you had plans with Atsumu last night. You told him that you would probably be back late. But “back late” feels like an understatement considering the joys of parenthood usually have both of you up in about an hour whether it’s a workday or not. 

When you come down a few hours later, the bags under your eyes and unkempt hair point to your inability to sleep in even after what he can only assume was an all-night rager. You pepper your son’s cheeks with exaggerated kisses that have him giggling over his breakfast as Osamu pours you a cup of what he’s sure is much-needed coffee. 

“Ya got home late last night,” he comments as you take the mug that he passes you.

“Ah, yeah. Just ended up going a little harder than I meant to,” you reply and something close to embarrassment seems to cross your features. You glance at Reiji, making sure his attention is on his food before you lower to voice to a furtive whisper. “I threw up in a karaoke room and had to sleep it off at Atsumu’s.”

His immediate instinct is to laugh in your face and he has to bite his lips and quickly look away from you to keep from doing so. You weakly punch his shoulder in response before sitting down at the table. 

But the amusement at your misfortune slowly starts to fade, replaced instead by that same voice, which is growing steadily more familiar. He can’t remember the last time that the two of you had a night like that together. He tries to think back on if it was before or after Reiji was born. And while you certainly don’t make vomiting in karaoke rooms a habit, it’s not at all rare for you and his brother to have a wild night out. 

When the voice asks why you’re having them with Atsumu but not with him, the only thing he can focus on is the knot in the pit of his stomach and how it only seems to grow tighter. 

He hears it again when he’s with Atsumu one day and he asks Osamu what he thinks about you rejecting a new job offer. The question is offhanded — he’s looking at his phone when asks it, barely even giving Osamu a fraction of his attention. 

But Osamu freezes. This is the first that he’s heard about any job offer. He didn’t even know that you were interviewing somewhere else. 

“What job offer?” His voice sounds thin and Atsumu seems to realize that he’s unintentionally stumbled into something much bigger because his thumb stops scrolling and there’s a line of tension in his shoulders that wasn’t there only moments ago. 

“Uh, it’s nothin’ big,” he quickly tries to assure his brother as he puts down his phone and turns to face him fully. “It just happened this week. Some new place made her an offer and she turned it down.”

Osamu merely hums, his expression betraying nothing, but his twin brother knows him too well.

“Look, I’m sure she just hasn’t gotten ‘round to telling ya,” he offers and Osamu can see the slight panic in his eyes. “She had that big meeting. And she’s been lookin’ after Reiji-kun since he’s been sick, right? Things’ve probably just been too crazy fer her to even think about it.”

Every excuse only digs the hole deeper. It’s not just this apparent job that you’ve been pursuing only to turn down that Atsumu knows about. It’s also your hectic work week and how you’ve been taking care of Reiji since the restaurant’s been too shorthanded for Osamu to stay home. 

What’s next? Is he going to mention that you’ve also been so busy the two of you haven’t had sex in almost three weeks? From the guilty look in his twin’s eyes, Osamu would bet good money that he’s already aware. 

On his way home, he tries to think about the best way to raise the subject with you and ultimately decides that there’s no good way to ask, “Hey. Why are ya tellin’ Tsumu things but not yer husband?”

(He knows that’s definitely the wrong way to phrase it, but that little voice won’t say it any other way.)

But when he enters your bedroom he finds you slouched against the headboard, fully passed out with Reiji sprawled on top of you as he clings to you even in his sleep. The light and tv are both still on. You’re obviously exhausted and stretched thin, while Osamu is looking to pick a fight. The guilt he feels is almost crippling. 

It probably hasn’t even occurred to you to mention the job offer with everything else going on. Atsumu is right, which only makes him feel worse. 

He comes toward the both of you and carefully tries to pick Reiji up out of your arms without waking either of you. But he’s only just managed to pry the sick toddler loose when your eyelids flutter open.

It takes you a moment to register what’s happening, still feeling the dregs of sleep, but when you do, you give him the softest smile and it makes him feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

“Did you just get home?” you whisper as you help him lift Reiji off of you. But before he can take your son too far away, you shift over and gesture for Osamu to place him in the middle of the bed. “He’ll cry if he wakes up in his room alone.”

“He doin’ any better?” Osamu quietly asks and does as you ask, gently putting him down before sitting down on your other side on the edge of the mattress. 

“His fever broke a couple of hours ago, so he should be back to normal in a day or two.” The news is a visible relief to you. It’s not just the amount of effort a sick child takes, but also the worry that’s been weighing you down. 

“Wish I coulda been ‘round more to help ya,” he tells you, his guilt about both doubting you and leaving you to take care of Reiji by yourself beginning to peek through.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” you assure him, lifting a hand to run your fingers through his hat hair. “I know that you’re in a bind since Kimura-san quit. I’m the one with the flexible hours and schedule. I really don’t mind. We’re a team.”

He doesn’t deserve you.

“Well, the new part-timer starts next week so things’ll finally calm down,” he offers and something mischievous sparkles in your tired eyes.

“Good. Because when you can finally take some time off, we’re gonna pawn Reiji off on the grandparents. Then you’re gonna make it up to me by spending the entire night making me cum so hard I see stars,” you tell him, your tone leaving no room for argument, as if he would ever want to. 

“I can do that,” he agrees with a grin.

“We haven’t fucked in weeks,” you pout and Osamu can’t hold in his laughter, only for you to slap a hand over his mouth to keep him from waking up Reiji. 

Your own quiet giggles are able to momentarily drown out the small voice reminding him about the job offer that you’ve yet to tell him about. 

But a few weeks later, even after having the house to yourselves for an entire weekend and spending it fucking on every surface that you could like you used to do before Reiji came along, those embarrassing feelings of jealousy are still as present as ever.

You post a series of photos of you and Atsumu at a restaurant. The first picture is of your happy, smiling faces and the matching pair of five-pound gyoza on the table, one in front of each of you. As he swipes through the series, you both look worse and worse as you try to finish your gyoza. When he gets to the final one, you’re proudly holding a certificate from the restaurant for having finished yours in an hour, while Atsumu looks like he’s on death’s doorstep.

He’s so preoccupied swiping back and forth through the photos that when the restaurant door slides open, it startles him so badly that he almost drops his phone entirely. He doesn’t know whether or not to be relieved that it’s Kita coming to drop off a new order of rice rather than a customer who didn’t read the closed sign. 

On one hand, he doesn’t want to deal with a customer while he’s in the midst of indulging that voice that’s slowly becoming a companion. But on the other, dealing with Kita when he’s in a jealousy spiral is even worse.

“Is everything alright? Ya look like ya just got some bad news,” Kita observes with a small frown of concern.

As Osamu assures him that nothing’s wrong, he tries to hurriedly shove his phone into the pocket of his apron. However, it slips from his sweaty hands and skids across the floor of the restaurant where it comes face-up to a perfect stop right in front of Kita’s feet.

He picks it up and when he sees the final picture of you and Atsumu on the screen, he shakes his head in amusement. 

“Atsumu only sent me the picture of them at the start of the challenge,” he wryly says as he slides the restaurant door shut behind him and joins Osamu at the counter. He takes a moment to swipe through the rest of the photos in your post before passing the phone back. “I’m surprised ya didn’t go with ‘em.”

“I wasn’t invited,” he mumbled, vocalizing the bitter thought that’s been taking up so much space in his mind ever since you and Atsumu originally made the plans. But as soon as the words leave his lips, he knows he’s given himself away because he can feel Kita’s heavy gaze on him.

“Did ya ask if ya could join ‘em?” is Kita’s annoyingly reasonable response. After a few moments, Osamu gives the smallest shake of his head, confirming that no, he didn’t ask if he could go with you and his brother. 

“Y’know, yer wife is an amazing woman,” he finally says when it’s clear Osamu has nothing else to offer. “But fer all of her talents, she’s not a mind reader. Just talk to her.”

Osamu groans loudly at how rational Kita is being. He drops his head down to rest his forehead on the countertop, his Onigiri Miya hat flopping off in the process. While he agrees that it’s good advice, there’s still one problem.

“Kita-san…it’s embarrassing,” he protests childishly and he turns his head to the side to look up at his old team captain. “What am I supposed to say? ‘Stop spendin’ so much time with that scrub!’ I’ll sound like an idiot.”

“Just talk to her,” Kita repeats calmly and Osamu can only sigh. “Why don’t ya tell me how Reiji-kun’s been?”

For the rest of the day, Osamu finds himself trapped in an internal debate over whether or not he should take Kita’s advice. The ugly voice in his head insists that he shouldn’t have to say anything at all. If you really love him then you should already know. The more self-conscious part of him keeps warning him of how embarrassed he’ll be when he tells his wife, the mother of his child, the love of his life, that he’s jealous of how much time she spends with his brother. 

But a new voice, one that sounds exactly like Kita, simply asks him if he’s tired of feeling like this. Does he really want to keep harboring this resentment? It’ll only continue to fester and grow until it explodes, hurting everyone he loves. 

So that night, after he’s put Reiji to bed and the dishes are done and the laundry is folded and he has no more excuses left to procrastinate, he collapses next to you on the couch with an exaggerated sigh. You look up at him from your phone with an amused smile, only for it to slightly fall when you see how troubled he looks. 

“What’s going on? Did something happen at work?” you ask, turning to give him your full attention and scooting closer to him so that you can rest a gentle hand on his thigh. 

He shuts his eyes and gives himself a single moment to steel himself before finally letting out the poison that’s slowly been building inside of him for the last few months. 

“I have somethin’ to tell ya and it’s gonna make it seem like I’m fifteen or somethin’,” he says and he knows that if he didn’t sound so serious then you would be making a joke about him having some sort of wet dream and ruining the sheets. Instead, you give his thigh a reassuring squeeze. 

“Lately…fer the last few months…I’ve been feelin’ kinda…jealous.”

There. The words are out there in the world. You’ve heard them. He can go crawl into a hole and wait for the embarrassment to kill him. 

“Jealous? Of what?” 

He hates how concerned you sound. You’re not making light of his admission. You’re not confused. You’re being patient. You’re gentle. You’re so much better than him and his childish pettiness and resentment and jealousy. 

“You and stupid Tsumu,” he grumbles, slouching down even further into the couch. He glances over at you from the corner of his eye and sees the look of surprise on your face. He shuts his eyes again, balling his hands into fists, and tells himself to man the fuck up.

With his nerves now steeled, he takes a deep breath, sits up straight, and turns to fully face you. 

“Look, I know that ya got this weird friendship with Tsumu and that he’s yer best friend. And it’s never been a big deal before, but lately, I dunno…,” he trails off, his gaze darting down before he forces it back up to meet yours. “I’ve just been feelin’ a little…cut out.”

“Osamu,” you murmur, lifting a hand to his face but he quickly takes it between both of his so that he can hold it tight and keep himself steady. 

“I love you and our family and the life we’ve built together. I wouldn’t change any of it fer anything,” he’s quick to assure you, needing you to know that you make him happier than he ever thought he could be. “But sometimes I see ya hangin’ out with Tsumu and havin’ fun and it sounds dumb but, I wish I could see more of that part of yer life.”

You softly repeat his name before you climb into his lap. You wrap an arm around his shoulders to hold him close and pull your other hand from his grasp so that you can cup his cheek with a loving touch. 

“I’m so sorry that I’ve made you feel that way,” you tell him. “You’re always gonna come first. I don’t ever want you to feel excluded or like I’m trying to keep the different pieces of my life compartmentalized.”

Just hearing your apology and acknowledgment of the irrational jealousy that’s been plaguing him soothes his insecurities and embarrassment. 

“I want ya to be able to go do things on yer own and do things with Tsumu without feelin’ like ya gotta bring me along every time. But ya just look like yer havin’ fun when yer gettin’ up to stupid things together and I guess, I just wanna have fun with ya too,” he shrugs. Despite how true it is, he hates how cheesy he sounds. But from the way that you’re looking at him with so much affection, you clearly find it touching. 

“I love having fun with you, Osamu,” you smile back at him and his cheeks start to feel warm. “I’d love to do more stupid things with you.”

“Even if that stupid thing is spendin’ 20,000 yen at an arcade to beat a bunch of teens for the high score?” he asks and it comes out shyer than he intended. “Or buyin’ out every flavor of chips and every type of snack from the konbini just to rank ‘em?”

“Even then,” you nod with a grin. “Even if it’s needing to make a cab pull over to throw up after a night of drinking.”

“I thought it was the karaoke room?” he frowns in confusion.

“It was the karaoke room for me. The cab was Atsumu,” you tell him with a laugh and he snorts in response. 

But then, since this is a time for honesty, he decides to bring up the question that’s been weighing heavily on his mind for the last few weeks. 

“Why didn’t ya tell me about the job offer?” he gently asks, the question curious rather than accusatory.

“Job offer?” The line of your mouth twists down and your eyebrows knit together as you try to understand what he’s referring to. 

“Tsumu said ya turned down a job offer. It was around when Reiji was sick,” he explains and his tone turns slightly hesitant. “Did ya feel like ya couldn’t tell me?”

Your eyes spark with recognition before you roll them in annoyance.

“Atsumu’s an idiot. He never listens,” you begin to rant and he’s not too proud to admit that hearing your irritation directed towards his twin extinguishes the last remaining embers of his jealousy. “It wasn’t a job offer. A recruiter reached out about a job opening for a position that involves more work for less pay. I didn’t even reply.”

He feels an odd mixture of relief, guilt, and frustration. He’s relieved that this was just some misunderstanding, but he feels just as guilty for jumping to the worst conclusion and thinking that you were something big from him. The frustration will be dealt with when he next sees his twin and gives him an earful and delivers a slap to the back of his head.

“I’m sorry fer not just askin’ ya ‘bout it sooner,” he says and you just give him a look of understanding. 

“You and me, we’re only human. There are just gonna be times when I forget to tell you something or just don’t think to bother with it. But I’ll always do my best to make sure you know when there’s something going on. We’re a team, remember?” You run your fingers caringly through his hair with a soft smile and he leans eagerly into your touch.

“We’re a team,” he repeats quietly, finding the words comforting. He then gives you a slightly embarrassed look. “Hey, don’t tell Tsumu, okay? He’ll just call me a scrub.”

You place a reassuring kiss on his lips before nodding. 

“Don’t worry. You’re a scrub, but you’re my scrub and I love you.” He can’t help but laugh as he wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you close. “But, you wanna do something crazy, huh?”

When he looks up at you, it’s to find a hint of wildness creeping into your expression. It’s the same wildness he used to see when you first started dating — before you both became adults and spouses and parents with real responsibilities. 

The next day, Atsumu stops by the restaurant in the late afternoon during a lull. His appearance is unannounced, meaning that Osamu hasn’t had a chance to prepare himself for what he knows is to come. It’s as bad as he imagined because as soon as the setter walks in, he freezes, his expression going slack in shock at the sight of Osamu.

Or more correctly, at the sight of Osamu’s hair, which has been amateurishly dyed to be the same shade of grey that he used to wear in high school. 

“Don’t even start,” he warns but doing so is pointless because Atsumu immediately bursts into laughter, finding it so funny that he has to clutch his stomach as he bends over. 

“Who’s idea was this?” he manages to ask in between his gasps for air and his cackles. “Ya look so stupid!”

Osamu just stares at him blankly, not bringing up the fact that Atsumu is the one who’s been wearing the exact same hairstyle since they were sixteen, and isn’t that even more pathetic? 

Because for all of the mocking that he receives, he knows it was worth it for the time he spent joking and laughing with you into the late hours of the night in your tiny bathroom as you did your best to dye his hair without burning his scalp.

[flock-of-cassowaries]

I’d count myself as a very casual Nandermo shipper, but the way the whole sitcom outtake bit was framed was just… very off-putting.

Spoilers below the cut.

Like, to introduce it, Nadja (in her characteristically condescending tone) says that she’ll just “make them hallucinate the ending they want”.

Which like, yes; Nadja would say that. But to then actually cut away to it, and in the context of a very, very meta episode… it really feels like the writers are just being shitty to the Nandermo enjoyers in the audience.

And the line Nadja says after the conclusion of that rather half-hearted St. Elsewhere reference (TIMELY!) feels similarly disparaging. (She says that the people who imagined that have “lost 15-20 IQ points.”)

Again, it is in character, and the hypnosis-IQ link has been set up previously, but it just felt… mean.

And like…. I get that writers can be annoyed by fan demands shaping the show, but it’s extremely ungracious to be nasty back to fans.

If I’m being really generous, I can see how perhaps they could have written it, and thought “Is it nasty? No, it’s not. It’s fine! It’s a joke. It’s in character.”

Buuuuut… I think maybe they needed to sit with it for a bit longer and reflect on the implicit part, because… it was ugly. And it shouldn’t have been in there.

( Honestly, the whole script felt like it needed a lot more time and care than it received. )

I also thought that the whole “It will be good when the cameras are gone” bit, and the “Climb into my coffin” bit were… like, if those parts weren’t queerbaiting, wtf is?

Like, the main/only narrative consequence of those sequences was to edge the Nandermo shippers in the audience, and like… for what? If it wasn’t just to be mean, was it to pad the run-time?

It was just… so stupid.

And again, I was never personally in the “If those two don’t kiss, I’m going to riot” camp. But the whole exercise just felt like it was meant as a gratuitous slap in the face to people who really liked this ship.

Like, the episode barely even had a plot. For a minute there, it felt like they were starting to do something with the monster and the Guide*, but instead, they just took a hard left into mocking the Nandermo fans in the audience for, I guess, the crime of being enthusiastic about the relationship between two characters.

*CW for sexual-exploitation / sexual assault implications in the last bit of this post (and no, I cannot believe I need to say this in a post about What We Do In the Shadows, but here we are).

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* I did not love the idea that they were contemplating murdering one of their peers to turn her into basically a sex doll, and it was pretty well-established IN THE PILOT that murdering another vampire was a huge crime, but who cares anymore. Whatever. Fuck it.

[starspork]

WWDITS Finale Spoilers

hey so…. fuck that.

This whole season sucked ass. and the Finale was just salt in the wound. WWDITS has marketed itself to fans as this queer show, basically every vampire is Bi or Gay, with some being implied ace. In the main cast you have Lazlo Bi, Nadja Bi, Nandor Bi, Guillermo Gay, Colin ace (to my memory), Guide Bi or Lesbian, Baron Bi, Sire Gay or Bi.

But all the show gives us in the end is m/f pairings. Lazlo and Nadja are married bi4bi and i love them and that’s valid, Nandor looks for a wife for 4 seasons and only at the end do we learn that to him men are also wives, BUT THEN THEY STILL ONLY GIVE HIM FEMALE WIVES AND LOVE INTERESTS. The Baron and Sire are “roommates” who are literally easing kids together, have a dog, and have multiple joke lines a la “boomer wife hates me for leaving her with the kids” but they’re just roommates and the writers won’t commit to them being in a relationship. Guillermo comes out as gay and then every joke is about how he’s suddenly a slut who is probably sleeping around with every man he meets, including half the documentary crew. The Guide keeps getting pushed to the side like she’s a prop and not a character when she’s been brought into the cast for SEASONS now

I have seen people say that this show and this finale wasn’t queerbait, and i just have to vehemently disagree. WWDITS lost its charm seasons ago, i tried to get back into it with the vampire Guillermo arc, i tried to give this last season a chance too, but the writers took the opportunity to give a satisfying and cohesive ending to a popular show, and they just decided to make it full of poor jokes that don’t fit the tone or style, rushed plots, and halfassed endings. they couldn’t even fucking commit to one ending.

and i think that if the sitcom ending was the only one, it wouldn’t be as bad, but when they couldn’t even commit to one lazy reference and a C- cheek kiss it’s just frustrating.

And just as a last thing. it SUCKS that basically none of the others got anything close to an ending, the episode focused so much on nandor and guillermo, and they couldn’t even finish that one story well.

[tanoraqui]

Trick or treat!

obviously all disabilities are totally underrepresented in mainstream and non-mainstream fiction, but I’ve been thinking recently that one I’d really like to see, which you could easily write in offhandedly or as a compelling character-building plot point, and have no trouble casting for in live action, is simply: anything that requires continuous, consistently timed medication.

According to CDC surveys circa 2017-19, roughly 1 out of every 7 women in the USA use birth control pills, which usually need to be taken at a very regular daily time in a very regular monthly pattern.

According to my personal experience, it’s extremely possible to live a basically normal life with low but functional vision and also half a dozen other petty ongoing problems, while also having every single day of your life—and, god knows, any travel you want to do—organized around the fact that you need to take multiple eye drops roughly every 12 hours, one of which needs to stay refrigerated at all times.

If you need regular medication, a portal fantasy adventure presents a real problem. An unexpected urban fantasy adventure that prevents you from going home for more than a day is a problem. Excuse me, aliens who have abducted me? If I list the drugs I regularly take, and tell you very roughly what each does, can you synthesize them perfectly? No, I don’t know any of the active ingredients, sorry. Hell, as a romance novel protagonist, an impulsive overnight stay with a hot stranger I met at a bar isn’t an option!

I think this would be a fun challenge for writers to work around while constructing plots, a good source of characterization as they examine how scrupulous a character is about their schedule (or how anxious once off-schedule), and, seriously, so easy to slide into the background if not a focus of the story. Do you know how often I wander into my kitchen half-asleep and take an eye drop? Roughly twice a day! The sitcom au of my life would just have this as background in a wide variety of scenes! AND it’s not something you need to do a lot of research in order to depict—just note “character must take macguffinex every 6-18 hours or they’ll start to get worried about the long-term health of their [insert organ here]” and use that as a background parameter for your story.

[taahko]

I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

[textsfromhannibal]

Ghost Series Masterlist

Hello! I'm TFH, and I write serial and standalone reader-driven Ghost fics because they're basically my only coping mechanism in the face of *gestures broadly.*

Here all of the Emeritus siblings are alive and apparently heard the story about Nihil fumbling the baddie and decided 'nope, couldn't be me.' Here there are marriages and babies and Satanists going full Gomez and so much amore you'll get disgusted with me. Also a lot of humor and sitcom antics and general family mayhem.

If that sounds like your cup of dark sacramental wine, please join me at the Ministry! I take my writing seriously, but I never take myself seriously. I always welcome comments, chatting, requests, and general interaction. :D

NO BETA WE DIE LIKE THE BOX

Synopsis: Reader-driven series centered around the Eastern US Ministry campus in Massachusetts and New England/New York as a whole. We begin with the man who will become Papa V Perpetua cloistered as a monk, find Primo his perfect bratty match in a nearby town, and watch as Copia helps a local woman blossom into her role as ghoul advocate. Terzo and Secondo are coming next! All stories can be read alone or as part of the larger plot.

First Installment: What I Need to Believe

Main relationship: Papa V Perpetua x Reader

Summary: The last ten years have been nothing but trauma, and after fighting the good fight, you decide to retreat from the fray and build a peaceful life for yourself in a small town. All you want is to enjoy the natural beauty of the New York countryside, to practice your faith and work on your art... until a chance encounter with a masked monk sends you both on a quest to find your true home.

Reader personality: Independent, witchy, playful, cottagecore girly, stabilizing strength

Words: 25,872

Status: Finished

Main keywords: Mutual pining, pretty much love at first sight, golden retriever Papa V, softest dom Papa V, male loss of virginity, oral and vaginal sex, the smallest bit of breeding kink

Potential triggers/dislikes: Religious trauma, history of self-harm, mental health issues, facial deformity, age difference, a few mentions of how fucked the world currently is, inaccurate Catholicism, Perpetua has a first name

My personal favorite bit: The scene in the thrift store.

Second Installment: Life Was Breathing Its Second Day

Main relationship: Papa Emeritus I x Reader

Summary: You've lived your entire life in the shadow of the Satanic Ministry's New England campus -- the cathedral in the woods where the damned gather to worship their Dark God. Still, you've never had a strong opinion about it one way or the other, until a scourge from your family's past threatens you and one of the Clergy members comes to your defense. Primo Emeritus has devoted his life to the worship of Lucifer, he wears more makeup than you do, and he's old enough to be your grandfather -- but the more you get to know him, the more you realize that this may be a match made in Hell.

Reader personality: Sassy, bold, mature, rolls with the punches, vintage fashion and music aficionado, loyal to her family, insanely hot for an old man

Words: 26,916

Status: Finished

Main keywords: Dom Papa I, lingerie and stockings, phone sex, bondage, spanking, oral and vaginal sex

Potential triggers/dislikes: AGE DIFFERENCE, violence, referenced domestic violence, scene in a prison visiting room, religious discrimination

My personal favorite bit: ...the prie-dieu.

Third Installment: Right Back to the Bearer of Light

Main relationship: Frater Imperator x Reader

Summary: You’re a young professional trying to build a life for yourself after spending too long under your mother’s wing — and he’s a Satanist doing the exact same thing. An accident at the animal shelter where you work puts you in contact with Frater Imperator, a man who can hardly frighten you when you see so much of yourself in him. But how will your small town react when one of its most innocent inhabitants starts hanging around with the leader of the Satanic Ministry?

Reader personality: Neurodivergent, shy, sheltered, innocent, patient, blossoming, ghoul advocate

Words: 39,800

Status: Finished

Main keywords: Soft Dom Frater, shy force meets awkward object, acceptance of one another's quirks, female loss of virginity, oral and vaginal sex

Potential triggers/dislikes: History of child abuse, mental health issues, controlling adult child/parent relationship, Reader is well above age of consent but can sometimes come across as younger due to all the above, unrealized threat of institutionalization, religious discrimination, age difference

My personal favorite bit: Copia full-heartedly singing along to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

Fourth Installment/Interlude: Your Love Will Be Born Again

Main relationship: Papa V Perpetua x Reader

Summary: After his first tour ends, the masked man who's stolen your heart joins you back in the place where it all began. The plan is to spend a month in the little cottage by the creek before winter drives you back to the Ministry... but you and Perpetua have been talking about starting a family, and it's only six short months until the ritual steals him away from you again. Is it literally time to get busy?

Reader personality: Independent, witchy, playful, cottagecore girly, stabilizing strength

Words: WIP

Status: Unfinished

Main keywords: Just straight up a breeding and romance fic, Perpetua and Reader want a baby, established relationship, married sex, oral and vaginal sex, creampie, impregnation, dirty talk

Potential triggers/dislikes: History of self-harm, facial deformity, age difference, Perpetua has a first name, unsuccessful attempts at impregnation, pregnancy, period sex

My personal favorite bit so far: EVERYTHING WE'RE BACK IN NAPLES BABY PREPARE FOR GRAPES AND CARDINALS AND SHIT

Standalone story: The Skin Starts to Fail

Main relationship: Frater Imperator x Reader

Summary: Not all Satanists worship in the open or walk the world's busy urban streets. You're a sixth-generation Devil-worshipper from the heart of Nebraska, a woman who grew up just as sheltered as the neighboring fundamentalist Christian girls -- just for entirely different reasons. Attempting to honor one of your mother's final wishes, you take the veil as a Sister of Sin, and you're sorely tempted to give it up mere hours later -- until you cross paths with Frater Imperator. A man who's never set eyes on you in person, but who's already serenaded crowds with your name in his heart.

Reader personality: Eldest sister, speaks her mind, unpretentious, compassionate, protective, devout

Words: WIP

Status: Unfinished

Main keywords: Sweet and awkward Copia, so much fucking yearning, idiots in love, Prime Mover trope, public ritual sex, breeding kink, impregnation

Potential triggers/dislikes: Pregnancy, referenced death of parent(s), age difference

My personal favorite bit so far: Copia snapping back from dissociation to find himself smoking a cigarette he completely forgot he owned.

Thank you to @gothdaddyissues for making these wonderful fanfic dividers and allowing us to use them for free, so generous! :D

[hellaversity]

Anyone else think the TV Tropes pages for Helluva Boss feel lowkey kinda biased?

They bash Stolitz all the time, make Stolas out to be this awful person who sexually harasses Blitzø with no remorse, say both get too much screentime (nevermind that the show wouldn't exist without them) and downplay Stolas' problems because he was born rich. (Which is literally part of his character arc.)

Meanwhile they jerk off Stella and claim she's only written the way she is to make Stolas look better, but have no problem with Crimson, Mammon or Valentino and don't say they only exist to prop up Moxxie, Fizz or Angel. Some pages do call this out, but the vast majority are just pro-Stella propaganda. They also talk like the show has just suddenly turned from a typical adult sitcom about assassins to a gay love story, and they CANNOT stand that.

Strangely enough, they don't seem to have the same "Eat the rich" mentality about Verosika that they do about Stolas, basically kissing her ass in the Apology Tour page and any time the episode is mentioned. They don't ever possibly stop to think for one second that her obssession with spiting Blitzø or arranging entire parties about this one guy for years on end is maybe a little... petty and unhealthy? Nope, they treat her like a saint because she said it was for the purpose of helping people that Blitzø allegedly hurt feel better, no matter how contrived it sounds. The fact that Dennis, Wally Wackford and Vortex were there doesn't even cross their minds.

They slapped the "Bi Not Too Bi" trope onto Blitzø and Loona, because Blitzø's romantic or sexual relationships with men happen to be happen to be important to the plot and he didn't fall in love with Verosika the way he did Fizz or Stolas, and in Loona's case it was because the only hint of her attraction to women is calling Bee hot. (Personally I hate that such a trope even exists on the website because it implies that you have to "prove" your bi/pansexuality or else you might as well be straight or gay, which perpetuates the stereotype that bi and pan people either have to go all out or "pick a side".)

On a less important note, they describe Blitzø's appearance unfavorably, calling him a "Kavorka Man" (ugly guy who still gets all the ladies and sometimes the dudes) and apply him to the "Ugly Guy Hot Wife" trope, saying he looks like a Xenomorph, yet they turn around and call Barbie Wire, who looks just like a female version of her brother, a "Ms Fanservice" and say she looks attractive in both human and demon form. I get it, these entries are probably all written by straight men who don't know the first thing about what makes other men attractive to people anyway, but it still baffles me.

[shizzlepyro]

𝓦𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝓛𝑜𝓋𝑒?

⋆.𐙚 ̊ ▌𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙙𝙚𝙨 — Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, and Kei Tsukishima.

⋆.𐙚 ̊ ▌𝙨𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨 — Their favorite rom-com movies.

⋆.𐙚 ̊ ▌𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 — my first ever fic... please do tell if I have any writing mistakes or if I wrote their characters incorrectly!

𝐒𝐡ō𝐲ō 𝐇𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚 .ᐟ.ᐟ

If he’s not practicing volleyball all day or completing side quests like attempting to finish either his homeworks or strolling around the neighborhood on a bike…… He’ll definitely open the family’s cabinet and get his favorite childhood movie.

When his baby sister was taking a nap, his mom would always cook up some meat buns and have them with him. And any of his mom’s favorite shows are his favorite movies. Including Coffee Prince. While he doesn’t have much liking for caffeine, the comedy and friendship and a tinge of sentimental complexities from the series made him stuck on the couch and rewatching it in uncountable measures. He loves a good show that evokes emotions yet has a light and innocent romance with relatable comedies.

ᡣ𐭩 As of now, he has explored many shows, given that his roommate and he has always taken the time to sit down and watch some movies. It’s just an excuse for them to have a good bond among friends, especially when he’s a foreigner in Brazil. Hinata never had the time to seek love personally; he waits for it to come to him like a tsunami. Where he would be immediately loved at the right time with the right person.

ᡣ𐭩 So his roommate had recommended him some shows so Hinata would relieve his mind of volleyball just for a moment. His favorites are Mamma Mia! The movie and She’s the Man. One for the amazing musical composition and the summer setting. Not to mention the lessons of love not only in romantic scenarios but also in friendships and parenthood. And the latter he loves for the boisterous comedy in every corner of the movie and the soccer theme.

𝐓𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐨 𝐊𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚 .ᐟ.ᐟ

Kageyama isn’t really picky with movies. Anything that has a decent plot that makes sense altogether is enough to satisfy him. That perception doesn’t go away when he checks some of his older sister’s movie cassettes.

While he usually pulls up a volleyball tournament show or a basic sitcom available on the channel, he’s tempted to do something different in his leisure time. So he picks up The Princess Bride, which he’s convinced to buy by the premise, and Notting Hill, which he’s convinced to buy by Hugh Grant’s and Julia Roberts chemistry just by the cover.

ᡣ𐭩 When he’s in his adulthood, he has more certain preferences, and it’s nothing like he expected before. Switching between teams and countries and the adrenaline of his own job as an athlete—Kageyama sought something fun and innocent that could take his brain off for a while. And the medicine for that would be Our Secret Diary.

ᡣ𐭩 A new famed rom-com about love in high school, something he didn’t experience back then. He’d take a liking to the endearing yet frustrating pining between the main characters and just be be in awe at how teenagers busyhemselves with love if they don’t have a hobby. Like volleyball! Just for an example. As for western shows, he’d pick up A Cinderella Story and Ever After for the sake of guilty pleasure.

𝐊𝐞𝐢 𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 .ᐟ.ᐟ

The story of how he came to watch these shows isn’t really anything special. Given that during his young years he didn’t really like romance movies. Not even ones he randomly found when he clicked on the TV remote too many times.

ᡣ𐭩 He only gets to appreciate rom-com movies when he’s in college. And the reason he resorts to watching shows he never thought he would attune to to before is because he needs a damn break. A quick brain-off rest for two hours, and what would be greater ways to dumb your brain other than watching stupid romance movies?

ᡣ𐭩 He opens his streaming channel, typed out romcom movies, and picked the first one that pops out—which would be 10 Things I Hate About You. And oh boy… he does not realize how he started gushing at Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles’s chemistry as well as their characters. It’s almost like he wants to be the third person in their honest and budding romance. He doesn’t really find much entertainment in the second couple though, putting it as any other basic high school couple.

ᡣ𐭩 The second time he watches a rom-com would be a voluntary one. This time, he typed out the genre and curated each one with careful eyes. Sometimes he would gush out a disgust reading their synopsis; sometimes he would just sigh and move on. Luckily, one caught his eyes. A movie titled Bridget Jones’ Diary. While he’s not that familiar with the Englishmen, he found the plot and romance realistic. It does not settle for true, just love that makes your heart bloom in the present and makes you feel like you're the only person with him in the world. Like only both of you can speak the languange you share without shame or having to act as somebody else. And he found it enjoyable, even with Bridget’s embarrassing moments.

I'll continue with other characters if this gets hype enough ‹𝟹

[kazuza-art]

👏 I 👏 need 👏 grindledore 👏 fic 👏 recs👏

(if you don't mind 👀)

OFC I DONT !! like grindeldore is my first passion (and then riddledore and harrydore XD all dore power!)

the liar curse! best Grindelwald and Albus characterisation I ever read! they don't even meet in the fic but the story is all about them and their fuck up love story! the take and the plot are so fresh! a masterpiece with too little comments on it as always ç_ç

old men in love! I love the description of their relationship. Very people write them old.

very funny sitcom like time travel oldG and oldA to youngG and youngA! fresh take, very entertaining and light! i found it hilarious! sadly still in progress ç_ç

Phoenix insurgent, one of the best and well known grindeldore fic! old men in love and in war! albus finally being done with the corrupted ministry crap and fight back hard! it's dark, deep and perfect!!!

sort of modern magical world AU where basically grindelwald didn't started a war! very fresh, very interesting! I'm not a fan of this Albus archetype but it is undeniably a GREAT fic. Sadly never finished, but it is worth it!!!

all grindeldore Kierkegarden's fics are worth reading!! all of them take an interesting fresh turn and it's always great characterisation!

A GEM THIS ONE! G impersonating Graves and seducing ALbus is always such a treat but this one is PERFECT

forever more and Lesser evil and Prison blue both have Grindeldore and are a must to read!!! hope one day she writes a full grindeldore fic

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 16: Yes, no, maybe

Masterlist flufftober 🎃

Reblog if you liked it!

Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question?

Spencer had gotten used to hearing that song as the opening theme every Friday, from your TV. One day at work, you referred to one of your favorite sitcoms, and you were quite surprised that the young man didn’t understand what you were talking about.

It turned out that the doctor had extensive knowledge in practically all areas, but entertainment was his weak point. So when you found out he had never seen Malcolm in the Middle, you basically forced him into having weekly meetings at your house to watch all the seasons.

At first, Spencer wasn’t too thrilled, as that genre of television wasn’t his favorite, but after the first season, it turned out that he was quite enjoying the show. The sharp humor, the cleverly written plots, the chaotic and dysfunctional family... all the elements seemed to have captivated his attention.

Many times, for both health and economic reasons, you prepared food at home for dinner. But that day, you decided to treat yourselves and ordered a large pizza with a six-pack of beer for you and lemonade for your friend.

You were both comfortably settled on your couch, ready to start the next episode, when you heard Spencer speak.

“I have a theory.”

“About what?”

“About Malcolm's family”

“Hmm,” you hummed, with your mouth full of pepperoni pizza. “I’m listening.”

“I’ve been thinking, and I believe Hal suffers from compulsive lying and gambling addiction, in addition to clearly seeking a mother figure in Lois. She has obsessive-compulsive disorder, needing to control everything to feel that things will go well; I’d say she’s a bit narcissistic as well, and she’s addicted to nicotine. Francis is completely impulsive, and I would even dare say he suffers from oppositional defiant disorder. Reese displays sociopathic and antisocial behaviors and has low self-esteem that he reflects through violence. Malcolm is gifted, of course, but also has antisocial and narcissistic behaviors, and is even a bit controlling and self-pitying, as if he had the worst of each of his parents. Dewey has musical genius; he’s somewhat introverted but quite sensible, and I want to think he’s the least toxic in the family. I mean, considering the family environment they’re in, they could be worse, but I couldn’t help but notice those psychological peculiarities in each character.”

Throughout the time Spencer had been speaking, you watched him attentively, and when he finished, you let out a loud laugh.

“Reid, when did you have time to think about all that?”

“This week! I started to remember, and somehow I needed to talk to you about the psychology of each family member. I think it’s very interesting; that’s why.”

“Only you could watch a show like this and come to those conclusions,” you laughed friendly.

In the background, the sound of the Wilkerson brothers fighting actively filled the room, and suddenly your friend became shy.

“But what do you think? Do you think I’m right?”

“On all points. It’s a very accurate analysis, yes,” you murmured playfully, taking a sip of your beer. “Who’s your favorite character so far?”

“I think Dewey. He seems very sweet and small… I don’t know, I think he’s a very noble and intelligent boy. Malcolm makes the mistake of letting his ego control him; otherwise, he would be my favorite.”

“Mine is Francis,” you confessed. “When I was a teenager, I was hopelessly in love with him.”

“That makes sense. I think because of your childhood experiences, you seek those chaotic situations in the opposite sex. In your partners, more specifically.”

“Oh, so now you’re psychoanalyzing me?”

“If we’re talking about psychoanalysis from a Freudian perspective, of course not. But Jung, on the other hand, had some contributions that I think are more suitable…”

“Reid,” you interrupted, placing one of your hands on his arm to get his attention. “You know I love hearing you ramble about all that, but do you really want to do such a deep analysis about this? About Malcolm in the Middle?”

It wasn’t a complaint, of course; you just sounded amused by the situation.

“You’re right; I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I’ve thought so much about it.”

“That’s how the minds of geniuses work, I guess,” you joked, giving him a playful shove with your shoulder. “But now I want you to relax; let your brain shut off a little so you can enjoy silly TV situations and eat pizza like any of us mortals.”

Your friend nodded, feeling strange about all the thoughts that had arisen from something as bland as a sitcom, and he settled back into the couch, asking you for another piece of pizza. You spent the entire time laughing, eating, and drinking beside him, chatting occasionally about the show or really anything else.

Suddenly, you started to find resemblances between the characters on your TV and your colleagues in the unit, and when you dared to compare Ida, Lois’s mother, with Chief Erin Strauss, he broke into loud laughter. You rarely heard him laugh so freely, and inevitably, you felt contagious with joy, even if your joke hadn’t been that funny.

“I think she does look a bit alike,” he finally said, practically sprawled on the couch from laughter. “Especially in… you know, her particular personality.”

“Do you think you would have been in the advanced class of brainiacs that Malcolm is in?”

“Of course.”

“Show-off!” you exclaimed, teasing him for the confidence with which he had spoken while playfully shoving him.

You settled in better and pulled a blanket that was nearby so that you two could cover yourselves at least from your legs to your laps. This involved shortening the distance between you, but it didn’t bother you at all.

“I like watching TV with you,” he suddenly murmured, finishing his last piece of dinner. Spencer didn’t like the crusts of the pizza, and you always offered to eat them for him, so that night was no exception.

“I like it a lot too. It’s like… we’re getting rid of a bit of all the stress from work, right?”

“Yeah, I believe so.”

“Especially if it’s with my best friend at work.”

“Am I your best friend at work?”

“Don’t get too excited. You are because I don’t have many options.”

The man let out a hearty laugh, but he took the compliment anyway. In silence, you continued watching the comedy until, at some point during the night, Spencer spoke:

“You’re also my best work friend. And that’s saying something, considering I do have more options.”

With a smile on your face, you leaned over to kiss him on the cheek soundly, like a little girl would do with her preschool friend. It was innocent and sincere.

In the presence of the cold creeping under your feet, you both cuddled closer to each other (in the most respectful and friendly way possible) and continued enjoying the marathon, quite happy to at least be able to steal a couple of hours from the busy life you led.

[thesiltverses]

Thank you so much for The Silt Verses, what an emotional, cathartic, technically brilliant creation. I've been recommending it to everyone in my life left right and centre.

I'm curious about your process for creating such believable and relatable characters — did the characters come before the plot, or vice versa? Do you make conscious decisions on how to make them feel more 'real' in terms of dialogue, what non-plot-relevant things are shown etc.? I'd love to hear any advice or tips on making characters that resonate so strongly.

Thank you again for your amazing work!

Hey and thank you so much for the very kind words!

I don't know if I can answer your questions around this adequately (plus 'good' characterisation is extremely subjective, right?) but let me try:

Character, premise, and plot for me are very much inseparable in terms of the planning process. We establish a narrative landscape. We establish a character with a clear initial outlook and goal regarding that landscape. En route to the goal, we find opportunities to challenge, explore and shift the character's outlook - so that by the time they reach their goal, the outcome of the plot is no longer certain. That's the basic formula for every single TSV character arc, really.

That formula does, I think, need to be accompanied by a genuine restlessness on the part of the writer. We should feel impatient when we find we're repeating ourselves; we should be worried when our audience can too comfortably predict how the protagonists would react to X or Y; we should be itching to be surprised again by the fiction at every turn and aiming to find something new in every scene with a character. We're not making a sitcom here - the aim should not be a comfortable or reassuring stasis. Character is change.

There is a lot of scene-by-scene work I do around our characters to try and keep them from feeling artificial on my terms - but I think that's less a set of rules and more about being aware of your own historic patterns and broader structural cliches alike, and trying to navigate around them or at least freshen them up. Audiodrama can be a demanding medium with a limited palette for delivering information to the audience. As a result I think it's very common to fall into certain TV-inspired formulaic habits (for example, establishing basic character outlooks by having your protagonists bicker and debate in the moment about their immediate narrative goals, then delivering all the actually substantial character development and backstory in the form of melodramatic confessions and revelations from one protagonist to another protagonist during the downtime at the end of an episode, a la the 'CW's Supernatural technique'. We've done this stuff ourselves in the show, so I'm not looking down at it. But we've definitely also benefitted from the narration segments in TSV, which allow us to add extra dimensionality and depth to the characters outside of that banter-and-confession formula).